Sivin Kit

My new "Blog" address is http://kifferfong.cjb.net/sivinkit/ thanks to Kiffer ..

"Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives"

I listened with great interest to an interview with Theodore Zeldin, one of the most important thinkers in the world, & author of "Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives" at http://www.wamu.org/ram/2002/k2021118.ram.

Here are some goodies I picked up ...

1. Telling lies causes us to live in a illusion - and conversations can help us spot it. It takes a lot of honesty and vulnerability to have meaningful conversations.

2. Making a Map of our conversations helps us see the diversity of our learning and growing - Zeldin gave the analogy of a travel map which got me thinking who I had been talking to. No wonder I enjoy my toastmaster club meetings, it's one place I get some diverse views.

3. Conversations can help us move beyond knowledge to wisdom - with so much information bombarded on us, I agree with Zeldin that wisdom is what we really need and how knowledge applies in our lives and make us better people. Conversations to me provides a level playing field for us to allows for healthy exchange and a great lab for change.

4. Conversation needs practice (like love making!!!!) - that got the listeners sitting up! I sometimes assume just because I have no problem talking I'm good at conversation. But this got me thinking, it involves listening, understanding, and interacting .. much more than knowing what to say.

5. Conversation is a work of art ... have fun (e.g. humor) & still do something with our own lives - Zeldin talked about humor sometimes can be a way of evading the real issues at hand. Hmm .. I enjoy humor .. maybe that's why my wife May Chin is good at meaningful conversations - she jokes less (almost never actually)!

6. "What is your idea of _______"? - That was a good way of getting to deeper conversations of what's in people's minds and their feelings to "whatever". I was thinking of a recent conversation with Langkawi and wondering why I enjoyed it so much. It was simply because there was a freedom to go beyond the usual, what's you job? what do you like? where did you come from? ...

Found a quote on the net ...
"Conversation is a meeting of minds with different memories and habits. When minds meet, they don't just exchange facts: they transform them, reshape them, draw different implications from them, engage in new trains of thought. Conversation doesn't just reshuffle the cards: it creates new cards. "~ Theodore Zeldin

From now on I don't want to give TALKS >. I want to enter CONVERSATIONS ...

hmm .. must look for the book ...

"If I Had It to Live Over Again"

Spent some time listening to a Tony Campolo message with the above title today at http://www.tonycampolo.org/messages.shtml. He's just so funny and focused at the same time. I guess after my last blog, I needed to get some shaking .. audibly :-) The message is based on a study done of 50 people over the age of 95 who were asked what they would do differently if they had life to live over again. They responded by focusing on the following:
a. They would risk more.
b. They would reflect more.
c. They would do more things that would live on after they were dead.
Tony shows how those responses can provide direction for how we should live life.


Risk more ... had lunch with Daniel today. I loved it ... it's been sometime since I had a good lunch with him. We could talk, risk some vulnerability, share about what's going on and where we going from here, etc. I'm glad I took a mini risk just to ask him out for lunch. Besides that, I sent out some emails yesterday, a mini risk with almost no results except one reply 30 minutes ago ... baby steps, not too spectacular ... who cares?! I haven't risked much lately at least in my view ... so these steps are at least some steps :-)


Reflect more ... well ... I read a lot. But, blogging does force me to reflect a little more. It's still very tempting to miss out on the time originally carved out for reflection. But somehow, I think it's God's Spirit who tugs me, and/or my own heart which will become unsettled if I'm on the move without stopping to reflect ...


Do more things that would live on after they were dead. Death was on our conversation today at lunch - a relative. Everytime I hear stuff like this, I pause and re-align what's important for me ... and what's really lasting ... I'm still new at this. I feel I've been caught up with a "short-term" approach which is still in re-habilitation. I want to treasure our "dinner" and "games" tonight at our home. And keep my heart open to share and listen during an A & W session with Ken and Kelvin. Lead me Lord ...

"RETHINKING" CHURCH & "REDOING CHURCH"

I read this in a blog from my new friend Karen Ward http://deepdirt.blogspot.com/.


we lutherans (and other mainliners) need to wake up and smell the coffee. and we have good coffee which we can smell! in our online gen x lutheran forum, one seminarian from the lutheran church-missouri synod commented that an acquaintance of his from a postmodern aware church (levi's table) in st. louis (the city where the lutheran church missouri synod is headquartered) said to him, "oh yeah, we know about you lutherans, you are the guys with the great theology, but don't know what to do with it."



we need to stop being "the guys with the great theology, but don't know what to do with it" and start becoming "the guys with the great theology, who can make real and authentic among postmodern generations, and all people, the good news of god in christ in a culturally understandable way." if we don't stop sitting on our ROCK SOLID teachings and shrouding our rich heritage in modernist garb, we will continue on as "the guys with great theology," as our churches continue to age and close down at an ever increasing rate (especially in densely populated post-christian urban areas).



The past three years, I've indeed had quite a luxury of "rethinking". I think I've been doing loads of it. And I think there's a danger in me to just "sit" on Rock Solid good "Rethinking" as well. Deep down I want to do "more", not so much in an activist sense but do some "stuff" - go ahead and start "redoing church" with the best "rethinking" available. Before planting Bangsar Lutheran Church (BLC), I think I may have been too "active" and busy being caught up with the tools of church growth and ministry (while neglecting some serious rethinking). "Rethinking" though can be dangerous to the status quo, but IMHO it's the "redoing" that rocks the boat further. Maybe it's the fear of making mistakes that's stopping me from really "redoing" more ... "Rethinking" is still confined to the lab of mental experimentation. Or maybe it's like my sermon preparation, when it's not written out yet, or drafted, mind-mapped it's perfect in the mind, it's still safer. But, when I put my pen to the paper, that's when it's really happening. When the words begin to flow from my lips to my listeners ears (and hopefully heart & mind), that's when it's really happening. In short the "Redoing" must come closer to my "RETHINKING", if it''s Parallel then better .. mustn't wait too long before doing something ... I just don't want to just sit on "Rock Solid" RETHINKING ...



For now, I'm blogging again .... the mouse and keyboard are great tools to unload what's inside me.



Then, I hope to "Re-do" my personal website so it's more useful to those who wanna visit.



"Food" .. Ahh... eating too much lately and eating lunch too much alone. Having lunch with someone today that's a start.



Don't need to wait for "everyone" to be on board .. and ready to do stuff ... having lunch with two newly baptised tomorrow at A&W.



I wanna enjoy sometime with May Chin's group tonight ... hope to see a new face or two.



Sent some emails to some contacts .. still waiting for replies .. hope the conversations will start again.



Do what i do weekly and daily in and through BLC ... "Redoing" it one bite at a time .. I heard that's how we eat an Elephant!